Reflection Check.

The most humbling feeling accompanies the utter realization that you have become a road block for another person seeking to follow Christ. All to often, we Jesus people try to identify all of the people/things that have "caused us to stumble" without reflecting on ourselves: have I inadvertently caused someone to sin? Is my life a total reflection of Jesus?

It's easy to point our fingers at other people without identifying the ugliness in our own hearts. I am guilty of this-we all are. Over time, it becomes all to easy to allow our own sinful hearts to seep into influencing another individual.

Examples: In a romantic relationship, the result of selfishness often leads to sexual sin and ungodly expectations. In a friendship, the result of selfishness often leads to gossip.

God has been really tugging on my heartstrings lately, to analyze my role in other people's lives. Instead of evaluating how the people I surround myself with are affecting my life; it's time I take a step back and analyze how I am affecting theirs. Once I did this, I was ashamed at what I saw.

So I prayed and immersed myself in His word. And I sought wisdom. And I decided to let some people go.

The loss of a relationship with an individual is excruciating-it provides an emptiness that is gut-wrenching and beyond painful. But sometimes, the pain is necessary. If a relationship is not inherently pleasing to God-in every area-it can produce negative fruit. If I am causing someone to produce negative fruit-how selfish would I be to continue and pursue that relationship with reckless abandon? 

Sometimes we're calling to do the hard thing. And it sucks. But following God's will was never supposed to be easy, and it is often wrought with speed bumps. Take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror: Are you helping those around you pursue a righteous life? Are you surrendering yourself daily to Jesus, and pursuing Godly relationships with His church? 

If you don't like what you see, ask Jesus how He wants you to proceed. Sometimes we become so blinded to His will, and rely solely on our own incompetence. Oh, how much heartbreak we would avoid if we pledged to live lives that reflect His will, and proceeded in total surrender.

I'm praying that God will reveal His will to me clearly. That he would guard my heart in pursuing each and every relationship, and that He would allow my spirit to be a positive influence on others.

Face the mirror for a life of holy freedom. It is our responsibility as believers to hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable. Live a life you can be proud of, and if you're causing others to falter, make the selfless decision to let go.

Two Way Street

Lately, I've been reading a lot of books about love. They have been extremely insightful, and taught me a lot about what a healthy relationship rooted in Jesus should look like. I'm not quite sure why I've been fascinated with this subject recently-maybe it's because I'm in a relationship myself, or that new engagements keep popping up on Facebook, or I'm on Pinterest way too much, or simply because I'm a woman and we are hardwired to connect romantically. 

However, though I've been seeking counsel about romantic relationships, I've discovered a lot more about seeking a healthy relationship with Christ than I ever could have imagined. 

I believe that there are many misconceptions within the church about falling in love with Christ. We are taught from the very early days of Sunday school that "For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only son..." (John 3:16) This revelation about God's relentless, merciful love for us is very comforting and TRUE.

But authentic, steadfast love is not a one way street. Love is a call to action. Though it can bring about the feeling of incredible joy, everlasting love requires people to make a constant choice to pursue one another and live unselfishly. Love as a verb is the glue that holds marriages together. It's what I hope to give to my husband one day. 

However, love is also what we are required to show Christ. Jesus loves his children-which means that every single day He never stops choosing to show us grace, mercy, and forgiveness. We are incapable of displaying the perfect love that He offers, however, we can still pursue Him.

So often, we think of Christ's love towards us without acknowledging that in order for us to have a relationship with him, we are required to love Him in return. And this requires us to faithfully pursue Him. Love is an action. It's so easy to become swept up in busyness and forget that there is a Creator that wants to have a loving relationship with His children. A relationship that requires us to take action. 

We have a responsibility to pursue the One who has so dutifully pursued us. How do we expect to have a lasting, authentic relationship with Christ if we are constantly remaining passive? 

A man will dutifully pursue the woman of his desire. In the same way, a woman will emotionally give everything she has to the man of her dreams. How come we so often expect our relationship with Christ to be any different? 

I am so guilty of this, and believe that we all are to a certain extent. Thankfully, Jesus' love is not conditional. He doesn't ever stop relentlessly pursuing His bride even when we ignore Him. But, when we give 100% to Him, and put in the effort to maintain a better relationship with our Creator, He acknowledges and blesses that. 

I challenge you to truly surrender to Jesus, and experiment with giving Him the time and the effort you would give someone with which you were in a romantic relationship. Our human nature will never allow us to love as perfectly as Jesus loves us, but that doesn't mean we have to stop trying. We shouldn't give up on Jesus just because of our inadequacy. Rather, we should pursue Him more so that His perfect plan can be truly revealed through our imperfect lives. 

It's time to show Jesus some love. Authentic love is a two way street.

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Hope Among the Hills

I wish I could fill the emptiness behind their glassy eyes. I wish I could take duct tape and seal up the crooked cracks weaving mazes interrupting their fragile hearts. I wish I could embrace them by the shoulders and whisper sweet truths of God's goodness. 

So often I am climbing the endless hills on campus, and think those thoughts. I see so many broken spirits here, so many dejected faces. There is a heaviness here. College kids are under a lot of pressure-worldly pressure, parental pressure, self imposed pressure. To do good, be better, succeed.

If only they knew the joy that Christ can bring. If only they knew that He has called them by name.

 I am a caretaker by nature-I am always obsessively meeting others' needs, and wanting to fix every minuscule problem. Sometimes, it can become frustrating to have this nature. It's so apparent that people are looking for MORE, for FULFILLMENT...and yet...I cannot change anyone's mind about who Jesus is, or was.

I can share my testimony, I can pray for completion, I can invite them to walk with me on this new journey. And for now, that has to be enough. I'm learning to let go of my compulsive desire to control every situation. I'm learning to let go, and let God do His job. My generation is not lost.

Keep college students in your prayers. This demographic of people can be so hopeless, and consumed with wandering. But Jesus came to earth to heal the broken, the people enslaved to their own selfishness. He came to provide refuge and safety for the lost.

{God, I pray that you will continue to reveal your presence on this campus. Allow those who follow You to stand firm in their convictions, and reveal your light to others. Provide us with a joy that radiates through every crevice of our sinful souls. I'm believing in Your power, and Your provision.}

"Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth and it stands fast." 
Psalm  119:90

More.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 5:2-5 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Jesus never promised that this life would be indefinitely easy. Oh, how often in the midst of my human trials do I fail to see His goodness. His will is greater than my mere circumstances.
So often, Christians (myself included) talk about how much joy and love Jesus provides those who trust in Him. And it's true-His love is all consuming, and His joy is boundless. 

But it's not all roses. Sometimes life is hard. Oftentimes putting faith in Jesus makes living this earthly, mundane life even more difficult. 

Following Jesus means constantly making the decision to deny oneself. He endured an immeasurable amount of suffering on our behalf-so that we would become free from sin that ensnares us. Therefore, how arrogant are we to often assume that following Jesus would be effortless. 

Jesus calls us to SURRENDER. He calls us to walk in His blood stained footsteps, and share in His pain. He calls us to trust that His will is sufficient-despite our seemingly overwhelming earthly challenges.

As a result of his all consuming love, He allows those who follow Him to live a life that is full of MORE. more life. more joy. more love. more peace. more faith. and even more pain. 

Jesus doesn't give us trials as punishment. He sees our insufficiencies, and promises to never give His people more hardships than they can possibly bear. But we were not called to follow, and leading requires making sacrifices. Jesus promises if we live resting in His truths, trusting in His will in the midst of our ever present weaknesses-that He will clothe us in strength. 

2 Corinthians 12:10 "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Everyday, I am learning to trust in His will, and rejoice in the midst of daily trials. Jesus is inherently GOOD, therefore, His plans for us are ultimately perfect. When we are standing in the presence of Christ, stripped of all our earthly pleasures, He will smile and praise us for our endurance. 

Jesus is greater. 

Jesus helps us live a life of MORE. 

Trials don't have to be defeating. 

Valleys.

Tonight, at Young Life, we talked about valleys-which is ironic considering I literally live in the middle of a mountain range, and am completely surrounded by them.

This message tugged on my heartstrings, and reminded me of the ways Jesus has revealed Himself to me over the past few weeks. Let me share with you a little piece of my journey.
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I've been praying that God would provide a community for me here in Boone. My soul craves accountability and companionship. I love being around people, and have been relentlessly praying for a solid group of friends who possess my similar values. For weeks, I have been trying to get involved with on campus ministries and various clubs, meeting some incredible individuals. I have truly met some of my best friends here in Boone, and yet I still wanted more. I continued praying for a large group of people I could connect with on multiple levels.

Soon, I found myself stuck trudging through the valley.

As I kept praying, kept seeking God's will for my life-I noticed a shift. Some of the relationships I had established early in the semester started dwindling, exams were occurring, and one day, I found myself in the hospital. In that moment, my feelings of loneliness were all consuming. As I was hooked up to IV fluids, and the doctors started prepping me for the emergency surgery, I kept praying. I had made the commitment to go on a weekend retreat with Cru, a Christian organization, and I knew that this trip could help me establish the community for which I desperately prayed.

I recall tears streaming down my face, holding onto a sliver of hope that my complicated symptoms were the result of something other than appendicitis. After persuading the doctor to let me stay in a hotel with my mother for the night, instead of in an uncomfortable hospital bed, I reluctantly promised to come back to get more tests done the next morning. I felt dejected. Why had God allowed this trial? Did He not want to allow me to find the community I so craved?

How wrong I was in doubting His faithfulness.

The next morning, I miraculously awoke symptom free. The pain I was experiencing was not caused by appendicitis. I could hardly contain my awe at how my symptoms ceased. I was able to go on the Cru retreat this past weekend, and can honestly say that it was the defining moment of my college career thus far.

We laughed, sang about God, learned about Jesus, played games, and saw shooting stars. I made some incredible relationships with people, and now feel like I have a welcoming community. Everyone I met on that trip embraced me just as I am. I felt whole.

Jesus is so faithful. He provides exactly what we need in His perfect timing. Oh how easy it is to feel abandoned by God when we don't get something that we think we need at the exact moment we desire it. But He hears our every whispered thought and plea. Jesus is so much greater, and more wonderful than our perception of Him.

Oftentimes, He takes us through valleys before leading us to the mountaintops-a manifestation of His beauty. But He is ever present.

I prayed for a community for the past seven weeks, and He allowed me to find it.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

The Power of Positivity

"Take time to smell the roses." "It's the little things in life..." "Don't sweat the small stuff." 

How often do I really take the time to focus my energies into identifying something positive about my day? It is so much easier to focus on the challenges and difficulties facing each day than to remain optimistic and maintain a positive outlook on life. 

A few days ago, I broke my right foot. It was devastating. I'm not trying to be melodramatic or overly emotional about this experience-I was truly heartbroken. I go to school nestled in the Appalachian Mountains, therefore, I must climb hills constantly in order to attend classes and find food to eat. Therefore, with each day I must brace myself for excruciating pain in order to succeed as a student. The loss of the functioning of my right foot means that I am not able to drive for six weeks. I had so many hikes and excursions planned over the next few weeks, and instead, I will be extremely limited in my outdoor abilities. 

After finding out that I would have to wear a walking boot for six weeks, and maintain several months of physical therapy, I displayed an entirely pessimistic attitude. I allowed my broken foot to consume my every waking thought, and refused to see the good in any situation. I allowed myself a few days of misery, only to discover that the negativity was getting me nowhere. I soon realized that having an ungrateful attitude about my circumstances would not change the fact my situation is what it is. Having a negative outlook only made me more unhappy, and made my friends uncomfortable.

So I decided to do an experiment-I would spend one day identifying every little piece of happiness that I could find. A single twenty-four hour day full of little triumphs and blessings. This changed everything. Immediately, I found that when I made a conscious effort to maintain positive thinking, finding the good in my unfortunate situation seemed feasible. In fact, my foot seemed to bring less pain and discomfort when my identity was not wrapped up in my uncomfortable circumstance. The day was full of so much joy, and identifying my blessings only highlighted my happiness. 

My experiment taught me that I must not focus on my struggles. Instead, I must make a decided effort to uncover little moments of joy nestled at the heart of each day. My struggle (the broken foot) has taught me the most amazing lesson in the importance of optimism. Joy lies behind every discomfort, but in order to find this treasure, we must open ourselves to optimism. It would be so much easier to allow ourselves to overtaken by pessimism because life is oftentimes difficult. However, in the midst of immense pain, joy can always be obtained. Our amount of joyfulness is directly proportional to the amount of time we spend attempting to identify our blessings. 

Don't believe me? Try it for yourself. Become open to the prospect of optimistic thinking, and learn to identify your own blessings. (Having trouble getting started? Just having access to this post means that you are fortunate enough to live in an area where technology is easily accessible...)  

Acceptance.

One of my favorite aspects about the small town of Boone, North Carolina and Appalachian State University as a whole, is the over abundance of creativity found in the crevices of everyday life. At any moment of the day, one could walk by a humble musician strumming a guitar, or a photographer attempting to capture a beautiful moment in a single snapshot. Even the way people dress here reflects artwork. Looking around the quad on a sunny day, I am met with glances from strangers with original tattoos, colored hair, eclectic outfits, and confident attitudes.

What might be surprising to you, is that even the people who don't fit this "artsy" mold are surprisingly accepting of others. In the short time I've been a student here, I have become accustomed to preppy, fraternity members associating with people who are the complete opposite of them-outdoor enthusiasts with a free spirited, artistic nature. I've seen members of the homosexual community shown so much love by members of the campus' Christian community. I've seen athletes showing kindness to freshman girls. I've seen individuals celebrated for their authenticity. I've seen students hold the doors for others, and smile at passersby. At Appalachian State, there is no such thing as race or gender barriers. There is a place for everyone, there is an overwhelmingly refreshing opportunity to become exactly whom you were meant to be.

Being in this community has given me the incredible opportunity to grow and reflect upon the individual I hope to become in my short four years here. The acceptance among this melting pot of a college has given me an amazing portrayal of the way heaven will be like one day. Jesus delights in each one of His children. He wants us to come to him exactly as we are-for we are ALL made in His image. 

The Church body here is an incredible example of loving acceptance of all individuals. There are people involved in the Christian community from every walk of life, who dress every way imaginable, and who have all different interests. Yet, everyone is celebrated for who they are as individuals. This experience has been incredible new for me, and is something I truly cherish with my whole hart. In many Christian communities, it is difficult for someone to become involved if he or she does not fit a certain mold. Yet, Jesus never organized boundaries for His people! "For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." The acceptance prevalent on this college campus should be equally, if not more prevalent in the Christian church. 

I challenge all my readers to re-evaluate what you except. Are you showing God's love to ALL people-or just the types of people who most clearly resemble yourself? If you're hoping to live like Jesus, that includes showing His love to everyone, from all walks of life. Dare to take a step out of your own shell, as comfortable as it may be, and show acceptance to someone who has the tenacity to live life differently.