I have spent the past year trying to become the woman who had everything under control, and as a result, I became reluctant to accept the fact that God has a perfect plan for my life that is better than anything I could ever create myself. I have been saddled by so much anxiety over the future, that I constantly squandered the gift of the present. I allowed myself to be manipulated in various relationships instead of focusing on developing my few precious passions. I lost sight of who I truly was at the core of my being, because I was trying to do everything on my own.
Yet, over the past few months, a gradual change has taken place in my life. My soul is at peace knowing that God has my future in his very capable hands. He knows what my next chapter will look like. He has hand selected my journey. He shaped me into the woman I am today, and loves me just the way I am-mistakes and all. So why did I ever doubt His faithfulness? How could I have allowed myself to become so burdened by the future, instead of focusing on His promise to have everything under control? Lastly, how could I have considered myself so unworthy as to have surrounded myself with people who only have selfish intentions?
The answer: I am human. I am extremely flawed, and He is merciful. God knows the bumps we will encounter along our journey long before we encounter them. He has created a set direction for our lives before we have even been conceived. He anticipates our failures, and yet loves us in spite of our brokenness. He is faithful, and wants us to seek refuge in Him. As I re-learn these simple truths, I am able to take a step back and relax. God should be the only guiding force in my life helping me navigate my way through young adulthood. Only He knows the direction I am headed in, and only He is capable of having complete control.
Believing these significant truths have helped shape my inner being, and allowed me to see God's hand over my life. He is slowly revealing pieces of His perfect plan for my life, and it is unbelievably exciting. He is shaping me into the woman I have always wanted to become-confident in His direction for my life, filled with an inner joy, and blessed with meaningful relationships.
We will all face many regrets in our lifetimes. At some point in our lives, each of us will reflect over a period of time in which we fought various battles on our own instead of giving them to God. But I'm learning that it's okay to mess up sometimes. It's okay to give yourself room to breathe. It's okay to lose focus, and need to ask God for direction. He is faithful. He is patient beyond measure. And He wants to reveal His perfect plan to each and every one of us, if we will only give him the opportunity to take control of our lives.
Hand over the steering wheel sometimes, and learn to relax in the passenger seat. Life is a journey-and I'm learning to enjoy the ride.
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