Choices

Growing up and becoming an adult, one always has choices to make. A choice whether to trust someone or be filled with doubt. Choices to go out with friends or stay home by oneself. A choice to fall in love or guard your heart.

Very rarely do we catch a glimpse as to What Might Have Been had certain decisions not been made. Today, I was fortunate enough to become enveloped with my past. I saw former friends and lovers. I walked the same hallways which shaped the person I have become. I mingled with trusting adults who are anxious as to uncover the inner workings of my soul. 

And I wondered. 

It left me breathless-curious as to what my future might have become had I not made the one (seemingly) simple decision during my junior year to change high schools. 

Choices have consequences, but we often choose to ignore them. We like to bury our head in the present instead of mulling over the past. Today, I was not given that option. For the first time, it feels as if my past is finally becoming interspersed with my present future. 

Therefore, I head you with a warning: choose wisely. One decision could have irreparable consequences, it could leave you with a different future. For one choice could reshape your tomorrow. 

heartsong.

Three little birdies,

Tucked in so tight.

Mama doesn't know their plight,

But she diligently prepares them for flight.

A stretch of their wings,

The birdies begin to sing.

Each song has its own particular ring.

A tune to help them find their king,

A hawk or blue jay or sparrow it will be.

These little birdies will become in sync,

And find out what it means to cling.

But despite their joy and fate,

Each bird will remember their mama's face.

Though the little birds will leave their nest,

Each one deserves a rest,

And will always return to the one who knows them best.  

 

headaches

suffocated by these walls,

robbing me of the joy i feel in all.

i can't explain away,

the heartache i constantly feel to this day. 

ready to leave, please don't ask me to stay.

i'm so tired of feeling this way.

try to trap me by time, 

the clock is constantly ticking.

no amount of control can curb this new itching. 

a dedication to life,

i can't wait to soar. 

stretch my wings and simply explore. 

i constantly feel a sense of wanting more.

therefore, the attempts to pull the strings,

are as silly as they seem. 

for in my power holds the key:

i can always leave-

the older i become, the more i want to be just me.

my head, my head
oh how it aches.
i long for silence, and crave my space.

Nighttime Plea

In the dark of night,

When the quiet settles in:

That's when the darkness begins.

Thoughts and insecurities in a whirlwind,

My head begins to spin and 

All I want is for this nightmare to end.

Seeking solace and prayer

I silently beg for a reminder he's still there-

The boy God loved me enough to share,

Kindly reminds me of my Father's care.

And begs me to become aware,

Of the people surrounding me

Who lovingly beg me not to despair.

His dutiful deed and hopeful plea,

Help me fight strength in the light.

Though I may be weak,

God's guidance I shall seek.

To somehow beat

The oppressive dark of night.