I have always seemed discontented. I rushed around as a little girl, in frilly pink dresses, dreaming about the day I would start high school. I would dreamily hold hands with my pretend "boyfriend" and long for my first kiss. As a five, six, seven, eight year old with an active imagination; I would practice graduating high school and waltz down the wedding aisle.
As my senior year continues to unfold, I find myself wanting, more than anything, to be that bright-eyed baby girl again. Oh how I wish I could stop the incessant ticking of my life clock. Children spend so long trying to grow up, sometimes they forget to be kids for a little while. Now, I find myself regressing into childish behaviors: watching Disney movies, sleeping with a night light, and cuddling with my favorite stuffed animal. It's exciting to ponder the possibilities of my future, but I still find myself wanting to just freeze today.
If I could go back and tell my childish self any piece of advice, it would be this: live in the moment. Enjoy each day as it comes. Cherish the bedtime stories momma reads to you every night. Rejoice in the feeling of the wind in your hair as you swing higher and higher on a swing set. Keep playing pretend for as long as you can, because one day, your imagination simply runs out. Remember to count your blessings each time your parents dress you up for church and parade you around like a porcelain china doll. Never fail to embrace your youth.
Today, I will allow myself the freedom to pursue the road of nostalgia. I will remember. Even though I cannot permanently stop time, I will enjoy the beauty of yesterday. My senior year may be constantly moving forward, I will allow myself to sneak quick glimpses backwards whenever I feel the urge to remember the days where life was simple, and I was carefree.
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