Acceptance.

One of my favorite aspects about the small town of Boone, North Carolina and Appalachian State University as a whole, is the over abundance of creativity found in the crevices of everyday life. At any moment of the day, one could walk by a humble musician strumming a guitar, or a photographer attempting to capture a beautiful moment in a single snapshot. Even the way people dress here reflects artwork. Looking around the quad on a sunny day, I am met with glances from strangers with original tattoos, colored hair, eclectic outfits, and confident attitudes.

What might be surprising to you, is that even the people who don't fit this "artsy" mold are surprisingly accepting of others. In the short time I've been a student here, I have become accustomed to preppy, fraternity members associating with people who are the complete opposite of them-outdoor enthusiasts with a free spirited, artistic nature. I've seen members of the homosexual community shown so much love by members of the campus' Christian community. I've seen athletes showing kindness to freshman girls. I've seen individuals celebrated for their authenticity. I've seen students hold the doors for others, and smile at passersby. At Appalachian State, there is no such thing as race or gender barriers. There is a place for everyone, there is an overwhelmingly refreshing opportunity to become exactly whom you were meant to be.

Being in this community has given me the incredible opportunity to grow and reflect upon the individual I hope to become in my short four years here. The acceptance among this melting pot of a college has given me an amazing portrayal of the way heaven will be like one day. Jesus delights in each one of His children. He wants us to come to him exactly as we are-for we are ALL made in His image. 

The Church body here is an incredible example of loving acceptance of all individuals. There are people involved in the Christian community from every walk of life, who dress every way imaginable, and who have all different interests. Yet, everyone is celebrated for who they are as individuals. This experience has been incredible new for me, and is something I truly cherish with my whole hart. In many Christian communities, it is difficult for someone to become involved if he or she does not fit a certain mold. Yet, Jesus never organized boundaries for His people! "For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." The acceptance prevalent on this college campus should be equally, if not more prevalent in the Christian church. 

I challenge all my readers to re-evaluate what you except. Are you showing God's love to ALL people-or just the types of people who most clearly resemble yourself? If you're hoping to live like Jesus, that includes showing His love to everyone, from all walks of life. Dare to take a step out of your own shell, as comfortable as it may be, and show acceptance to someone who has the tenacity to live life differently.

Better Put Your Armor On.

My first week at college has been a whirlwind...to say the least. The busyness of college can be quite overwhelming at times, but I can truly say that I am having the most amazing time up in the Appalachian mountains. God has given me some incredible friends, and I'm blessed to have a network of quality people surrounding me at all times.

However, I did not start this post to talk about how awesome college has been for the past week. I want to discuss spiritual warfare. 

In the past, alcohol has been a major temptation for me. In fact, it's incredibly embarrassing to even admit that in print, because so often I've been in denial about just how much of a battle it's been during my high school years. I surrounded myself with "good people" who did the "right" things, but still chose to go out and party on the weekends. This past summer, God has been working in my life in a supernatural way. I decided to give up drinking for the entire duration of my freshman year of college. 

Talk about a major life change. 

Since I've made that decision, I've felt a wave of peace overwhelm my soul. I've gone to parties, but for the first time, did not feel guilty about my actions. Without alcohol, I can be the fullest extent of my truest self. Yes, I still go to parties. Yes, I still have many friends who drink. 

By making that decision, I have chosen to die to my sinful desires, and embrace the person that God created me to become. However, what God intends to use for good, the enemy wants to use to bring about our destruction. After making this decision to forgo alcohol, I have found myself in the midst of intense spiritual warfare. Last night, I was reading scripture late at night when my roommate was sound asleep. I immediately heard noises that sounded like growling, and saw cabinets opening up on its own. I knew that the enemy was trying to use fear to forbid me from pursuing the Lord at 2am on a Wednesday night, in my college dorm room. 

Several of my other Christian friends have decided not to drink in college as well, and in turn, have been facing spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare can take on many forms-it may cause you to be feeling an overwhelming heaviness or loneliness or sadness. It may be that you just simply have lost all energy to get out of bed every day. It may be that you feel like no matter what choices you make, it's always the wrong one. The enemy is alive and well. It's easy to simply forget that we are living in a battlefield, and choose to make other things a priority instead of Jesus. It's incredibly overwhelming to try and adjust to living in a new environment, hard classes, and making all new friends. But Jesus wants us to rely on Him first and foremost. He is our strength and shield during this transition time. 

In a strange way, I am grateful for the spiritual warfare I have been facing, because it is a constant reminder that I am making the enemy even more mad by following Christ. I am confident that God is moving here at Appalachian State. Every day, I am reminded of His faithfulness, and His grace. But we all must keep our spiritual armor on at all times. Pray for those undergoing dark times. Bathe yourselves in His scriptural promises. Soak in His glory. 

Ephesians 6:12-13: For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

His Grace Abounding.

His grace abounding so that our hopes may remain secure.

His love and mercy slowly filling the cracks in my damaged soul.

Blanketing me with favor, and covering my every disgrace,

I am slowly learning what it means to seek His face.

How can His great love be enough to fill every part of me-

Even the empty spaces that no one could ever see?

I'll never know,

I'll never understand.

I simply choose to rest with assurance of His good and faithful plan.

"But sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death and that's the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life-a life that goes on and on and on, a world without end."

Romans 5:20-21 (Message version) 

LOVE-A Redemption Story

I'm going to admit something very embarrassing: I have had a selfish year. I have allowed the chaos of college applications, the pursuit of pleasure, many shallow relationships, and excessive planning to create distance between myself and Christ. Throughout my senior year, maintaining a relationship with God seemed to be the most difficult factor to juggle-despite retaking the SAT, maintaining straight A's, having a boyfriend,  multiple social commitments, touring colleges, and avoiding senioritis to completely interfere with graduation. 

But little did I know that God was going to radically change my priorities this summer. 

This past week was Love Week at Elevation Church. Love Week is a seven day period where members of the church family are called to sacrifice their time and energy in order to serve the community in big ways. Whether it be serving an hour, or giving up an entire day, we are encouraged to step out of our comfort zones and represent Jesus to those less fortunate. While I was extremely busy with the chaos of preparing for my first year away at college, I still felt a prompting to sign up for as many events as I possibly could. For the first time in a year, I was going to volunteer and become an active member of my church community. 

So it began. I had the privilege to serve with Urban Promise Ministries, Common Heart Ministries, and Blessed Assurance Ministries. At each and every place I went, God used at least one person to touch my life, and melt the ice that had begun to build up around my selfish heart. Whether it was laughing with my two Hispanic friends Charlotte and Jasmine (aged 6 and 7), gently reminding a woman with Alzheimer's that she was loved, or allowing a fellow volunteer (Austin-aged 5) to help me repair a wall; I felt a sense of fulfillment for the first time in a very long time. 

Brimming with joy from volunteering, I attended Elevation Worship's live recording event at Time Warner Cable Arena. While I knew the music would be unbelievable, I had no idea the extent to which it would affect my soul. As the musicians were singing about letting God work in our lives, and fully relying on him-I made an unshakable decision. 

I realized that it's time for me to let go, and let God lead my life. As I prepare to enter my college years, I'm determined to become the woman He has molded me to become. Instead of living in selfishness, I want to make decisions following the promptings Christ lays on my heart. I began to question every decision I made-braced with the prospect of Who is the Katy God wants me to be?

It's still incredible to me that God can use an event like Love Week to change my life in such a magnanimous way. By simply serving others, I learned how much more satisfying it is to openly serve Christ as opposed to singlehandedly serving myself. As a result, I'm no longer afraid to step onto my college campus. In fact, I feel more joy and a significant increase of peacefulness regarding my future. By stepping back and allowing God to lead me on this journey through life, I feel a kind of satisfaction and fulfillment that only comes from the freedom that He offers. I now plan on making my relationship with Christ a top priority in my life. His opinion is significantly greater than mine own. 

Through Love Week, I was not only able to bless others, but God truly blessed me by the redemption that He offers. The amazing thing is, He forgives my sin and loves me in spite of my selfishness. In loving others, I've been set free. 

Rising Above the Marriage Standard.

Recently, I have found myself fascinated with weddings. Perhaps it is because a childhood friend shall become a bride in a matter of days, or perhaps it is because I am nearing the age when every woman gets that "marriage itch." Whatever the case may be, I love watching wedding videos.

Yesterday, I was watching the wedding video of a bride that I knew from childhood. It was an absolutely beautiful ceremony, and it was evident that the young couple loved Jesus first and foremost. It was so beautiful that it made me start to think about the flawed way society tries to taint the idea of a "marriage" or "relationship." The raw display of love between this man and this woman, that's what young women should be striving for. Instead, we are taught to seek "Prince Charming" or "Superman." The main qualities these two icons possess is that they're, well, Charming and Super. A marriage cannot stand on these two superficial qualities. In the same way, women are constantly bombarded through various media outlets with the message that one of the most important qualities to seek in a man lies with his sexual performance in the bedroom.

Now, I'm not saying that little girls shouldn't be read bedtime fairy tales or allowed to watch the latest superhero flick. I'm not saying that women and men shouldn't be sexually attracted to one another. I'm merely suggesting that women be taught to strive for depth in their relationships, and encouraged to seek individuals with superior character. 

As women, we should be seeking dynamic relationships that allow us to become the individuals we were created to become. Most importantly, as Christ followers, we should be seeking relationships that reflect His love for the church, and meet His standards. We should pursue relationships with a man that displays qualities such as a hard working nature, passion, kindness, an encouraging spirit, motivated...the list goes on and on. 

I struggle with this truth every single day. It's hard to seek depth in relationships at such a young, wild time in one's life. But my challenge towards myself, and every other college aged woman I know, is to strive for MORE. We don't have to settle for superficiality, despite the lies that society thrusts upon us. We can, and should, hold out for the best. (Not perfection, for no one is without fault. Just someone with significance.) For how are we ever going to rise above the devastating divorce epidemic if we don't strive to marry men who possess the qualities necessary to uphold a long lasting, Godly relationship? 

As women, we don't have to settle for less than we deserve. God has a carefully selected, incredible individual picked out for each of us, but we have to be willing to seek meaningful relationships in order to find him.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Relinquishing Control

I'm sorry for crowding my blog with all of the melodramatic "awakenings" that I've been posting recently...but I simply cannot help but share how God has been shaping my life over the past few months. It's as if I've finally woken up from a blinding fog which caused me to constantly lower my personal standards, and settle into an identity which was never meant to be my own.

I have spent the past year trying to become the woman who had everything under control, and as a result, I became reluctant to accept the fact that God has a perfect plan for my life that is better than anything I could ever create myself. I have been saddled by so much anxiety over the future, that I constantly squandered the gift of the present. I allowed myself to be manipulated in various relationships instead of focusing on developing my few precious passions. I lost sight of who I truly was at the core of my being, because I was trying to do everything on my own. 

Yet, over the past few months, a gradual change has taken place in my life. My soul is at peace knowing that God has my future in his very capable hands. He knows what my next chapter will look like. He has hand selected my journey. He shaped me into the woman I am today, and loves me just the way I am-mistakes and all. So why did I ever doubt His faithfulness? How could I have allowed myself to become so burdened by the future, instead of focusing on His promise to have everything under control? Lastly, how could I have considered myself so unworthy as to have surrounded myself with people who only have selfish intentions?

The answer: I am human. I am extremely flawed, and He is merciful. God knows the bumps we will encounter along our journey long before we encounter them. He has created a set direction for our lives before we have even been conceived. He anticipates our failures, and yet loves us in spite of our brokenness. He is faithful, and wants us to seek refuge in Him. As I re-learn these simple truths, I am able to take a step back and relax. God should be the only guiding force in my life helping me navigate my way through young adulthood. Only He knows the direction I am headed in, and only He is capable of having complete control. 

Believing these significant truths have helped shape my inner being, and allowed me to see God's hand over my life. He is slowly revealing pieces of His perfect plan for my life, and it is unbelievably exciting. He is shaping me into the woman I have always wanted to become-confident in His direction for my life, filled with an inner joy, and blessed with meaningful relationships. 

We will all face many regrets in our lifetimes. At some point in our lives, each of us will reflect over a period of time in which we fought various battles on our own instead of giving them to God. But I'm learning that it's okay to mess up sometimes. It's okay to give yourself room to breathe. It's okay to lose focus, and need to ask God for direction. He is faithful. He is patient beyond measure. And He wants to reveal His perfect plan to each and every one of us, if we will only give him the opportunity to take control of our lives. 

Hand over the steering wheel sometimes, and learn to relax in the passenger seat. Life is a journey-and I'm learning to enjoy the ride.

Loneliness. (Not the bad kind)

Recently, I've begun discovering that it is okay to be alone. I find no greater joy than when I'm listening to Lana del Rey and wracking my brain for inspiration in order to continue writing my latest novel. I am learning that there are seasons of life when we are not meant to be with someone else.

Sometimes it takes being alone to realize the depths of who you really are.

I used to fear loneliness. I used to run from it with every fiber of my being, constantly craving the presence of another individual to help me escape from the messy parts of myself. Instead of developing my own identity, I belonged to whatever person was around me at that moment.

But not anymore. I have made peace with every bit of myself. I have finally given myself a very precious gift: TIME. I am capturing every moment, and utilizing it. I am discovering what makes me happy, and refusing to waste any second of life on people and things that make me sad. I am captivated by the very idea that I am learning the art of selfishness-not to the extent that others are hurt, simply because being selfish is so important sometimes in order to satisfy one's soul.

It's okay to be alone.